By a Disgruntled 27-Year-Old Fan
The original Happy Gilmore (1996) is a comedy classic, a film that turned Adam Sandler’s wild energy into a lovable, hockey-stick-swinging golfer who flipped the bird at the stuffy golf world. It’s a movie that still hits hard for those of us who grew up yelling “The price is wrong, Bitch!” and imagining crushing a 400-yard drive. So, when Happy Gilmore 2 hit Netflix on July 25, 2025, and the Liberals not controlling the White House, I was cautiously optimistic. Ten minutes in, I turned it off, convinced it would ruin the original’s magic. But after a couple of road beers during a drive around town, I talked myself into giving it another shot. Spoiler: I wish I’d stuck to my gut. Maybe 27 is the age you become the old man shouting at clouds, but Happy Gilmore 2 has Bob Barker rolling in his grave.
A Plot That Sinks in the Bunker
The sequel catches up with Happy (Adam Sandler) nearly 30 years after his 1996 Tour Championship win. He’s bagged five more titles, married Virginia Venit (Julie Bowen), and popped out five kids. Sounds like he’s living the dream, right? Nope. The film shoved all of that in the first thirty seconds then becomes a tired sequel trick: it trashes the original’s happy ending to force a comeback story. Happy’s broke, a raging alcoholic, and—get this—accidentally killed Virginia with a stray golf ball (get used to this lazy writing style). The woman who was every ‘90s dad’s crush is reduced to a plot device to force a cheap knockoff of the OG.
This setup feels like a middle finger to fans. The original Happy Gilmore was about a scrappy outsider fighting for his grandma’s house with heart and chaos. Turning Happy into a washed-up widower with five kids and a flask stashed in every corner (a gag that’s funny at first but gets old fast) is a lazy way to raise the stakes. Why not tap into his underdog vibe or explore his life as a golf legend? Instead, we get a grim montage of Happy’s downfall that feels more like a melodrama than the wild comedy we wanted.
Where’s Virginia? A Glaring Absence
Let’s talk about Virginia. Julie Bowen’s character plays a pivotal talking point in every household, where every father get’s to see which road their son is going to choose. She was the ‘90s dream girl for a generation (and their dads). So, killing her off-screen with a golf ball to the head? Shit is disgusting and Un-American. Bowen barely appears, relegated to fleeting flashbacks or ghostly cameos. Her absence guts the film of the chemistry that made the original sparkle. This is just proof of the liberal agenda trying to demasculinize young men.
John Daly: The Lone Highlight
The one saving grace is John Daly. The golf legend, that feels like the real life Happy Gilmore, fits perfect in the Happy Gilmore world. Playing a version of himself crashing in Happy’s garage, taking down week-old chicken wings, and chugging hand sanitizer for a buzz, Daly owns every scene. For a minute, I thought Daly might carry the film, but even his brilliance can’t salvage a script that’s all over the place.
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Tf was the script?
The film is stuffed with cameos—golfers like Scottie Scheffler, Rory McIlroy, and Jack Nicklaus, plus celebs like Travis Kelce, Bad Bunny, and Eminem. Some, like Daly and Bad Bunny’s caddie Oscar, land their laughs, but with over 50 cameos, it feels like a social media stunt, not a story. The original used cameos, like Bob Barker’s epic fight, with precision; here, they’re a crutch to mask a weak plot. After my beer-fueled decision to keep watching, I slogged through a third act that dives into a bizarre “Maxi Golf” league (a blatant LIV Golf rip-off) that feels like a video game, not the scrappy satire we loved.
“Critics opinions”
What the fuck does a “Movie Critic” really do? Who is paying grown men to give us their opinion that is never close to the opinion we relate to? I’ll give you my opinion without bullshitting any credibility other than knowing what a good movie is. Happy Gilmore 2 leans hard on nostalgia, recycling clips from the original and cramming in callbacks, but it lacks the soul and originality that made the first film a gem. Critics give it a mixed bag—a 67% Rotten Tomatoes score and 51/100 on Metacritic—praising its “stupid energy” (Richard Roeper) but slamming its reliance on low-brow gags and lack of fresh ideas (The Hollywood Reporter). For me, turning Happy into a failure to try to get viewers to feel like it’s the original, then dangling celebrities in our face is just fucking lazy. The original was about making a sport majority people call “boring” into a punk rock, American underdog story that includes hot chicks and helping grandma get out of tax evasion.
Final Thoughts
Happy Gilmore 2 had all the pieces for a great sequel—Sandler’s reputation and recent success in sports movies, John Fucking Daly, and an audience that was excited to see Happy back on their TV. But by axing Virginia, overloading on cameos, and forcing Happy into a contrived downfall, it honestly taints the original and I have no shame in telling my future unborn and unplanned son that there isn’t a sequel. Even after pushing through past those first ten minutes, I regretted it. Rewatch the original, where Happy’ is actually funny, Virginia’s getting young men to put down the power rangers, and the only thing taking a hit is the ball.
