Jake Russell
@oreojakesters
The holiday where we feast the most on food also gives us a feast of football rooted in traditions, hatred, history, and pageantry. We all fix our plates a little bit differently in each household, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Each food that characterizes Thanksgiving that we pile on there mirrors our consumption of rivalry week, the best week of college football. Knowing what we know about each rivalry, it’s time we explain as we load our plates.
Ohio State vs Michigan- The Turkey
It’s the main course every year. It doesn’t matter if last year you expected it to be a dry bird with an eventual 7-5 Michigan facing off against the eventual National Champion Ohio State in a 13-10 rock fight, it’s called THE GAME for a reason and you build everything in this weekend around it.
Ole Miss vs Mississippi State- Pumpkin Pie
It’s truly a shame that this game is going to be on a Black Friday noon slot now, because traditionally this game would occur on Thanksgiving night as you were loaded off of sleepy tryptophan and the previous NFL slate all day right before the chaotic Egg Bowl would occur and you’d feel like you were lucid dreaming. It was the coma-induced pumpkin pie right after all of your plates that was the sweet extra dessert on top as fans banging cowbells or DK Metcalf is mimicking a dog peeing on the end zone takes place with the hatred of a thousand suns. However, this week it is still a sweet extra given that we get the Lane Kiffin LeBron James “THE DECISION” announcement following what may be their biggest game ever.
Georgia Tech vs Georgia- The Gravy
Clean, old-fashioned hate. It’s been pretty one-sided despite the vitriol that exists, Georgia having won the last 7 in a row, but when you DO get a potential upset from the private nerd school over a football powerhouse like the 8 overtime classic last year taking them end-to-end, it’s a little gravy on top of your rivalry weekend meal that we’re better for.
Tennessee vs Vanderbilt- A Casserole
Given that Vanderbilt has been one of the bottom-tier Power 5 programs historically until Clark Lea has taken over and revitalized his alma mater, the hatred in this rivalry game is about as regionally “if you know, you know” as it gets. It’s like having to sell someone on a family casserole (which, the word casserole itself is unappetizing and isn’t exactly a selling point) but the family knows that whatever was cooked up and thrown in grease for that family recipe is good.
Alabama vs Auburn- Mashed Potatoes
It’s foundational. A solid base capable of supporting gravy, lumpy or mushed, on top of any other leftover, and what many of us consider one of the best sides of the spread. It’s also been with us the longest due to it being present throughout other holidays and walks of life rather than just Thanksgiving, so there’s a universal sentimentality. Alabama and Auburn in the Iron Bowl has given us the kick 6, Cam Newton, the Milroe throw, and countless other games where chaos seems to win out and gives us a quality game no matter the states of the program.
Iowa vs Nebraska- Cranberry Sauce
Cranberry sauce can be offered both straight from an old-fashioned and ugly jelly can or from a made with care recipe, and it creates factions in how it should be offered. Iowa-Nebraska is just that- some of us like when we get to see beautiful football, but these two Midwestern programs can also give us results like the last two years, 13-10 games in wintery mixes with a plethora of punts, and some of us find that just as appetizing.
Oregon vs Washington- Apple Pie
The hatred runs deep in Oregon Washington, but it also feels as though there isn’t ever nearly as much attention paid to it nationally due to it being in the cornered Pacific Northwest getting lost in the shuffle, and it’s a shame. Just like the fruit of Washington is the apple, if you bring in an apple pie on a day where it’s likely either pumpkin or pecan, you’re reminded of a delicacy that you may be missing out on.
Texas A&M vs Texas- Stuffing/Dressing
Stuffing is one of the foods that for some reason we’ve normalized ONLY having it on Thanksgiving, and for that reason, it makes the wait for it all the more sweet.
Texas A&M and Texas was ripped from our hearts when A&M left for the SEC. The rivalry where A&M’s fight song literally references sawing off a longhorn’s horns, the rivalry that gave Bevo the longhorn his name, and the two most aggressive factions in the Lone Star State was not played and we were empty for it.
Until we got it for the first time again last year.
Texas is back to playing A&M on a year-to-year basis and the wait was worth it, just as our wait for stuffing, or if you call it dressing, is worth it.