Rich CiminiDec 25, 2025, 06:00 AM ETCloseRich Cimini is a staff writer who covers the New York Jets and the NFL at ESPN. Rich has covered the Jets for over 30 years, joining ESPN in 2010. Rich also hosts the Flight Deck podcast. He previously was a beat writer for the New York Daily News and is a graduate of Syracuse University.Follow on X
John Elway impressed by Bo Nix’s maturity level (0:55)John Elway joins Rich Eisen and breaks down how Broncos quarterback Bo Nix’s maturity has been impressive. (0:55)
The game would pit the Red Zone Reindeer against Gang Grinch, coached by Pete Carroll and former New York Jets safety Scott Frost (on loan from the University of Central Florida), respectively. It would have reporter Holly Rowe on the sideline and analyst Mike (Oh) Tannenbaum in the radio booth.
There would be honorary captains — Frostee Rucker for the Reindeer and Ebenezer Ekuban for Gang Grinch, a couple of former NFL defensive linemen.
The league would make an exception for Demarcus Christmas, allowing him to play for the team of his choice even though he’s a member of the CFL’s Toronto Argonauts. Every Holiday Bowl needs a little Christmas, even though the 2019 Seattle Seahawks draft pick isn’t so little — 6-foot-4, 305 pounds. His contract would include a special clause that validates the transfer.
How’s this for a jingle-bell rocking quarterback matchup? Mason Rudolph versus Mike White. The late great Bart Starr would’ve enjoyed this one, especially on frozen tundra.
There would be enough skill-position talent in the game to melt any snowman. Rudolph would be surrounded by wide receiver Jaylin Noel and running backs Jeremy (Saint) McNichols and Julius Chestnut, who would protect Rudolph from any Blitzen linebackers.
White would be handing off to Breece (Deck the) Hall and throwing to Matthew (Five) Golden (Rings), with CeeDee Lamb working the slot. Former Pittsburgh Steelers star Le’Veon Bell was invited to play, but he opted to sit out because he didn’t like the contract offer.
Anchoring the Red Zone Reindeer offensive line would be Cole Strange and Cody Whitehair, who was released last year by the Las Vegas Raiders but would reportedly love the opportunity to be in Santa Claus for the big game. Taylor Decker and Esa (North) Pole would lead Gang Grinch up front.
The defenses would be a Who’s (in) Whoville cast of characters — Dee Winters, Charles Snowden and Cole Holcomb for Team Reindeer, with Darius Slay, Nohl Williams and Teair Tart holding down the defense for Gang Grinch.
There would be sponsors, of course, because bills have to be paid. Nothing says holiday cheer like Jameson Williams and Thomas Hennessy, the ideal way to cap a meal (and a game) that includes C.J. Ham and D.J. Glaze.
John Elway impressed by Bo Nix’s maturity level (0:55)John Elway joins Rich Eisen and breaks down how Broncos quarterback Bo Nix’s maturity has been impressive. (0:55)
John Elway joins Rich Eisen and breaks down how Broncos quarterback Bo Nix’s maturity has been impressive. (0:55)
CloseRich Cimini is a staff writer who covers the New York Jets and the NFL at ESPN. Rich has covered the Jets for over 30 years, joining ESPN in 2010. Rich also hosts the Flight Deck podcast. He previously was a beat writer for the New York Daily News and is a graduate of Syracuse University.Follow on X
And let’s not forget the kickers, Cairo Santos and Nick Folk.